Viaggiatore solitario

This morning I watched Eat. Pray. Love. at the local theatre and while the movie wasn't that great, it did strike a chord somewhere. The protagonist has to travel three continents to discover herself and finally choses the word Attraversiamo meaning 'lets cross over'.

The protagonist's search for herself made me reflect on the way I've lived my life over the past few years, constantly moving from job to job and city to city trying to make some sense of this life. I've had the good fortune to meet some amazing people too, people who've come to mean a lot to me and have become an integral part of my existence. These are the people who've been there for me when I was all alone in a new city, when my bag got stolen and I was left with no money, when I went through a bad patch at work! Thankfully these people are still just a phone call away even though I've moved on.

Thats the thing with me! Every time I start to get settled in a place, get comfortable with my surroundings, with my job and the people around me I start to feel suffocated. My first instinct is to run, run as fast as my feet can carry me. It's like a siren that goes off in my head and a whole bunch of questions begin to haunt me... Is this all there is to life? Isn't there more to learn, see & experience? Will I end up accepting all the stereotypes that women in my culture eventually accept.. of becoming a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother? What good is it to fancy myself as a progressive woman if I'm going to give in to the demands of society and people in general and do everything they expect of me? Should I give up dreaming, waiting for the perfect job, the perfect guy and just accept things the way they are?

Don't get me wrong, I'm no bra-burning feminist. This is not about my fight for women's rights, equality, trying to break stereotypes or defy society. In fact it has little to do with any thing outside of me. I just don't think I've had enough experiences, met enough people or understood myself completely to settle down and accept things without questioning their relevance to my life. The one thing I do know is that I'm not willing to conform to social prejudices and what is expected of a twenty seven year old girl (woman) in India.

Hopefully someday something or someone will make me want to settle down but till then my words are "viaggiatore solitario".

So whats your word?